A distraught senior citizen 
Phoned her doctor's office. 
"Is it true," she wanted to know, 
"that the medication 
You prescribed has to be taken 
For the rest of my life?" 
"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her. 
There was a moment of silence 
Before the senior lady replied, 
"I'm wondering, then, 
Just how serious is my condition 
Because this prescription is marked 
'NO REFILLS'.." 

*********************** 
An older gentleman was 
On the operating table 
Awaiting surgery 
And He insisted that his son, 
A renowned surgeon, 
Perform the operation. 
As he was about to get the anesthesia, 
He asked to speak to his son. 
"Yes, Dad , what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, son; 
Do your best, 
And just remember, 
If it doesn't go well, 
If something happens to me, 
Your mother 
Is going to come and 
Live with you and your wife....." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point 
When you stop lying about your age 
And start bragging about it. This is so true. I love 
To hear them say "you don't look that old." 

--------------------------------- 
The older we get, 
The fewer things 
Seem worth waiting in line for. 
(Mostly because we forgot why we were waiting in line in the first place!!) 
--------------------------------- 
Some people 
Try to turn back their odometers. 
Not me! 
I want people to know why 
I look this way. 
I've travelled a long way 
And some of the roads weren't paved. 

******************** 
When you are dissatisfied 
And would like to go back to youth, 
Think of Algebra. 

------------------------------- 
One of the many things 
No one tells you about aging 
Is that it is such a nice change 
From being young.. 
~~~~~~~~~~~ 
Ah, being young is beautiful, 
But being old is comfortable. 
********* 
First you forget names, 
Then you forget faces. 
Then you forget to pull up your zipper.... 
it's worse when 
You forget to pull it down. 
```````````````` 
Two guys, one old, one young, 
Are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart 
When they collide. 
The old guy says to the young guy, 
"Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, 
And I guess I wasn't paying attention 
To where I was going." 
The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. 
I'm looking for my wife, too... 
I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." 
The old guy says, "Well, 
Maybe I can help you find her... 
What does she look like?" 
The young guy says, 
"Well, she is 27 yrs. Old, tall, 
With red hair, 
Blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra, 
Long legs, 
And is wearing short shorts. 
What does your wife look like?' 
To which the old guy says, “Doesn't matter, 
--- let's look for yours." 

********************* 
(And this final one especially for me,) 
"Lord, 
Keep Your arm around my shoulder 
And Your hand over my mouth!"